I have two older brothers and a baby sister. We were the two middles. The oldest brother and baby sister live out of state. They are kind on my birthday. The LBB lives an hour away and tortures me with all kinds of "fun" on my birthday. Let me share.
- The year I came home to find a message on the machine asking me to speak at the State English Conference on Geoffrey Chaucer because: "There are so few people around any more who actually knew the man."
- The year my daughter got a letter alerting her to nursing home care for her elderly parent.
- The year he called the school and had the principal put a note in the daily bulletin about the fact that Mrs. E was now eligible for retirement benefits. Students were to be sure to congratulate her on that.
- The year I got the message on the answering machine telling me that the State Historical Society was looking for artifacts of earlier civilizations and that they were wondering if they could use my driver's license.
I'm forgetting several. I remember getting an email, but for the life of me can't remember what it was about.
Did I mention that he always enlists help? The messages never come from him. The phone numbers, email address, and envelopes are never from him and always look "official." There are a lot of people who are accomplices. You know who you are!
This past year, his lovely children contributed by posting on my Facebook page. I got things like: I was thinking about you in Western Civ class today when they were talking about ancient civilizations. Or: I was thinking about you in Sociology class today when we were studying Geriatrics, etc. You get the drift.
The only year LBB missed was the year I needed his abuse: the year I had the stroke a week before my birthday. I think he was thinking my aging (and having health problems) wasn't all that funny. On that "crappy" birthday I was hoping that I was going to be around for him to torture for years to come.
OK. I did put big signs all over his town when he turned 50. He had it coming.
Happy 55th LBB. You'll always be older than me, so naaah!!
Monday Memories over at Planet M today