Monday, July 20, 2009

LBB

Today is my Little Big Brother's Birthday. He is 55. Yep. I'm telling all. He has it coming!

I have two older brothers and a baby sister. We were the two middles. The oldest brother and baby sister live out of state. They are kind on my birthday. The LBB lives an hour away and tortures me with all kinds of "fun" on my birthday. Let me share.

  1. The year I came home to find a message on the machine asking me to speak at the State English Conference on Geoffrey Chaucer because: "There are so few people around any more who actually knew the man."
  2. The year my daughter got a letter alerting her to nursing home care for her elderly parent.
  3. The year he called the school and had the principal put a note in the daily bulletin about the fact that Mrs. E was now eligible for retirement benefits. Students were to be sure to congratulate her on that.
  4. The year I got the message on the answering machine telling me that the State Historical Society was looking for artifacts of earlier civilizations and that they were wondering if they could use my driver's license.

I'm forgetting several. I remember getting an email, but for the life of me can't remember what it was about.

Did I mention that he always enlists help? The messages never come from him. The phone numbers, email address, and envelopes are never from him and always look "official." There are a lot of people who are accomplices. You know who you are!

This past year, his lovely children contributed by posting on my Facebook page. I got things like: I was thinking about you in Western Civ class today when they were talking about ancient civilizations. Or: I was thinking about you in Sociology class today when we were studying Geriatrics, etc. You get the drift.

The only year LBB missed was the year I needed his abuse: the year I had the stroke a week before my birthday. I think he was thinking my aging (and having health problems) wasn't all that funny. On that "crappy" birthday I was hoping that I was going to be around for him to torture for years to come.

OK. I did put big signs all over his town when he turned 50. He had it coming.

Happy 55th LBB. You'll always be older than me, so naaah!!

Monday Memories over at Planet M today

7 comments:

Gayle said...

Haha! What a fun and annoying brother he must be! Happy #55 to LBB!

This reminds me of a blogger that someone played a joke on by sending her official looking stuff that said her blog was being watched by Homeland Security!

Gayle said...

Oh! Thank you for joining Monday Memories!

Alicia said...

These are so funny! The nursing home one cracks me up!

elk said...

what good -natured love and laughter...you sound like a good sport and sister!

2Thinks said...

"He had it coming." "He had it coming." think the musical, Chicago. :) Got the tune in your head, okay LBB- keep reading....

Man, 55 is really getting up there, isn't it??? Whew!! Unbelievable! LBB, it is best to get your name in early for the better retirement (old folks) villas in town, you know the ones with the pools- there's a big waiting list. Just saying.... 55. 55. Gosh. It's definately the slower of the highway speed limits these days. Well, best of everything to you, LBB. It's all downhill from... well, from a few years back for you baby, but hey, it's easier downhill if you're on a bike. They have some awfully nice three wheelers for you old folks.

(Mrs. E, here's hoping I never meet LBB...eeks)
H.

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

Oh, I absolutely LOVED this post! First of all, I'd like to know this guy because he sounds like a riot. Like a meanie with a kind streak, you know? My kind of people! I can relate because I have one brother I have a fun relationship with, too. Thanks for sharing.

ols1 said...

My daughter would say that brothers are the most annoying thing - I hope she is a nice sister like you when she grows up.