Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Lessons Learned the Hard Way

This Week's List: Things I Figured Out By Trial and Many Errors:
1.  If the waiter says this plate is hot, just believe them!  (Why do I always feel the urge to touch it?)

2. When the Mr. says he will "fix" whatever is broken in the house, don't let him.  The toilet will be broken and have to be replaced, or the garbage disposal will be resting on the bottom of the cabinet- no longer attached to the sink.

3. If a student says, "You probably don't want to know this..." Cover your ears!  Quickly!

4. Adobo sauce isn't just kind of hot.  It can make a grown man cry. 

5. Putting off grading papers doesn't make it any easier to get started on them later.

6. The man of the house should never have the remote unless you want to watch sports, westerns, or "Andy Griffith."

7. Always wear a bra and makeup when you leave the house.  If you don't, you will always see your students.

8. No news doesn't always mean good news.  Sometimes it just means the girls haven't gotten up the nerve to call and tell you yet.

9.  Never take a non drowsy formula at night, unless you'd like to have a non drowsy night.

10.  When the Mr. doesn't answer or respond, don't keep talking.  He's asleep.  (Usually still holding the darn remote!)

11. Always question medical personnel.  Don't assume they are correct.  (And if they have to consult their books or a computer to figure out what is going on, ask for a referral.  I recommend Mayo.) 

12.  When you're paying them, they don't have the right to be a jerk.  Call them on it, whether it is your waitress, your dentist, or your computer tech.  If you don't, they will continue their bad behavior with others.

13. When someone says, "I hope you don't take this the wrong way...." there is no 'right' way to take it.

14. If you have a hole in your sock, don't wear it.  It will drive you crazy all day long!

15.  Don't ever say things can't get any worse.  They always can.  Trust me.

8 comments:

Gayle said...

Haha! Unfortunately all of these are very true! Except, wait, what's wrong with Andy Griffith?!

joyce said...

Those are hilarious & so true! May I post them on my fridge for a while? #9 is my favourite!

Dandy said...

I swear in the many, many years in the restaurant industry it never fails...everyone touches the plate. I even worked a teppan place (where they cook the food on the flat top in front of you) where a man burned his hand. I mean, they cook steak on their man, of course its hot!

Adobo looks so innocent but that stuff is killer!

My ring tone is Andy Griffith for B. Its that or Cosby show or Mash.

I totally have a hole in my sock right now!

All true, all fantastic.

Mrs. E said...

Of course you can copy it, Joyce!

And I love Andy Griffith, but I have seen every episode so many times I need a break for a few years. (Except I'd watch the early years with Opie every time!)

2Thinks said...

The sock I wore on my right foot today had a hole in the toe. At work, I had to climb a ladder and rest one foot on the arm of an easy chair while lifting a heavy glass topper onto a very tall display stand. I'm standing there holding the glass topper, trying to scootch the ladder in the opposite direction of which it was already facing, so that the foot that would rest on the armchair would not be the one with the hole in the sock, as I would have to remove my shoe to put my foot on the arm of the velvet chair- all sans hands, since I was holding the heavy glass plate.

You are so right. Never, never wear a sock with a hole in it. You just never know when it might cause you to sever your head with the sharp edge of a 1/4 inch thick, 2'x2' piece of glass.

Mrs. E said...

Heidi, tell me you didn't need stitches!!

Debbie said...

I love statement 7. That is my motto for life. Invariably - the minute you leave the house you run into somebody you know.

Katie @ Can't Get There said...

That was an incredibly fun list! My favorite is #8...not that I've been guilty of that one from time to time, or, um, ever.