“Pop the chute.” “Deploy the slide.” “Pulling a Jet Blue." Teachers never seem to do this.
Do you ever wonder why school teachers don't just walk out the door and leave the school unattended? Bet I can tell you.
1. We like our colleagues too much to leave them with another classroom to cover on their plan period.
2. Our principals might drive us crazy (not the boy principals!), but we wouldn't wish that many unattended teenagers on even them!
3. We have time off every summer. It gives us enough sane time to keep us from "going postal." Besides, teachers usually give the press enough fodder without taking out a school full of students. (Where do they keep finding these clowns who duct tape students to chairs, duct tape mouths, or "date" their students? Maybe if they outlawed duct tape, that would take care of 50% of the problem. I have a solution for the other 50% but you probably don't want to hear it--though that duct tape might come in handy!)
4. If we didn't have a classroom full of students, who would provide the comedy in our lives?
5. We're luckier than a lot of workers. This job has a definite beginning and an end. It begins in August; ends in May. We know that we can survive almost anything for 9 months; after all, we had babies. (Well, some of us did!) When they go to year round school, they will have problems. Mark my words.
6. What other job are you invited to be part of your "customers" life--forever? Invited to graduations? Check. Invited to weddings? Check. Invited to 25, 30, and 40 year class reunions? Check. (They'll be hauling me in from the nursing home.) Added on Facebook so we can check out the new babies, vacation pictures, etc.? Check. We might have driven them crazy for a year, but they still invite us into their lives-- over and over again. They allow us to see that our direst predictions about them were false or that they lived up to our highest expectations. Pretty cool.
Why do we not "pop the chute" or "go postal?" I think it is best summed up in one line:
"I teach, therefore I drink."